I’ll be honest: I’ve always had a bit of a sweet tooth (mitigated by a relatively high metabolism combined with a crapload of walking and other physical activity). Sugar is a pretty damn addictive drug and when I crave it, it can be one of many different chocolates or fruity candies. In this double-length post, I count down with my top 5 favorites in each category.
First, my top 5 favorite chocolates, starting with…
George Costanza tirade aside, these cookie filled bars are pretty unique and generally deliver. And you get two of them, which is cool.
I generally have an on-again, off-again relationship with Snickers – most of the time I like it, but sometimes I’m just not feeling caramel. The peanuts are always a nice touch ’cause I loves me some peanuts but sometimes the caramel just isn’t right.
You know that joke by the late Mitch Hedberg about rice? Same thing kind of goes for M&M’s – it’s the chocolate you choose if you want to have a few dozen of something. But seriously, they’re obviously a really good chocolate and the fact that they can withstand some degree of heat is a pretty big attribute. (Honorable mention to the dearly-departed M-Azing M&M-studded chocolate bar, which was really good.)
It doesn’t really matter that Crunch bars were first made by Nestle in the 1930s – when I have one I get nostalgic for the ’90s when POGs ruled the world and Shaquille O’Neal – then with the Orlando Magic – was starring in movies and hawking Crunch. While they’re generally ludicrously expensive based on the price-to-weight ratio (it’s a pretty thin bar to boot), when I have them, I really enjoy them – not only for the taste but for revisiting my childhood.
T1. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups & Reese’s Pieces
I know I’m fudging things with the number 1 choice – but sometimes I’m feeling the Cups and sometimes I’m feeling the Pieces. Either way, they provide basically the same great peanut buttery taste, along with about 5 grams of protein from those peanuts that make me feel an iota better about getting them.
And my 5 favorite fruity candies:
5. Jolly Ranchers
Really this only applies to the blue raspberry flavor (the rest really don’t matter – except for maybe green apple, that’s generally kind of good (that reminds me, you know what I haven’t had/seen in a bajillion years? War Heads. Those things were awesome.) – but otherwise, nothin’), and further this really only applies to the fact that even at 19, I love getting my tongue blue from Jolly Ranchers. I regret nothing.
4. Tootsie Pops
Again, fudging it a bit by having the ultimate fruity-chocolatey hybrid as my #4, but the sheer synergy just works really well – putting it over TigerPops and Dum Dums. And frankly, I love it most for the lollipop – especially the orange flavor – the chocolate is just the icing on the lollipop cake.
Much like with Snickers, I have an on-again, off-again relationship with Skittles. When you chew them they turn into this strange powdery stuff that just feels weird. (Also, I’m still waiting on a LeVar Burton-starring Skittles ad that says, “Read the Rainbow. Taste the Rainbow. Get on that, Mars.)
2. Swedish Fish
The dark-horse piscine Scandinavian candy takes #2 on this list, as they’re gummy but sweet and not terribly mushy. I rarely have them, but when I do, they’re great.
The #1 favorite fruity candy is also a chew, as it’s…
Obviously, it’s the orange and lemon ahead of the strawberry (which for some reason is pink, which I do not understand one bit) and cherry (I think everyone has that hierarchy), and by far they’re the fruity candy I have most often. But despite having them often, they don’t get less enjoyable.