(Ed. Note: I know I missed the Stuff I Dislike post, though it kinda goes better tomorrow anyway. Also, I’m scrapping the Top 5 Favorite Ballparks ’cause I think this post is cooler.)
Being a fervent watcher of television, I’ve often hoped I could work at the places portrayed, with the characters portrayed. Since virtually all the shows I love (one exception being Seinfeld) take place at workplaces, I can pick and choose which places I would want to work. Here are my Top 5 TV workplaces:
5. Dunder Mifflin, Scranton Branch (The Office)
I’m not totally sure if Dunder Mifflin would be a great place to work or a horrible one. I mean, nothing ever seems to get done. I think with Michael Scott gone (more on that tomorrow) it’ll be easier to operate, but if there’s anything they have down in Scranton, it’s camaraderie.
4. The White House under President Jed Bartlet (The West Wing)
Under Jed Bartlet, the United States was a beacon of hope for the world and a symbol of prosperity, and while they had their rough times (an assassination attempt on the President, military action in Qumar and Equatorial Kundu, neither of which exist), things seemed pretty good. Obviously to work in the West Wing on The West Wing you would need to be whip-smart, a fast talker and a brisk walker (much as this MAD TV parody hilariously shows), but luckily, those are three qualities I can claim.
3. Metropolitan Public Library (The Librarian)
This one I’m sort of fudging ’cause it wasn’t a series, but a trilogy of TV movies, but considering I want to be an archivist, cataloging and maintaining some of the greatest treasures in the world (e.g. Noah’s Ark, Excalibur, the Fountain of Youth) like Flynn Carsen (Noah Wyle) would be pretty badass. Obviously, having the fate of the earth almost constantly in the balance on your missions (and having to main within budget on acquiring artifacts) would be a bit stressful (as we saw in Curse of the Judas Chalice), but I think it would be worth it.
2. American Policy Institute (Rubicon)
Remember the fate of the earth being constantly in the balance in The Librarian? Same thing with Rubicon, although it was at a much more pedestrian speed. Instead of going on CTU-esque adventures, our heroes at API leaf through and analyze loads of intelligence reports and data to come to conclusions. All of the employees are polyglots and incredible with puzzles (e.g., crosswords). Plus, your direct superior would be Kale Ingram (Arliss Howard), who everyone either fears or respects as a total badass.
But by far the best fictional workplace is…
1. Starship Enterprise (Star Trek: The Next Generation)
You’re in space on Starfleet’s greatest ship with Starfleet’s greatest crew. A captain with the wisdom of a thousand men, a first officer who should be a captain on another ship but instead stays on to remain with his top-flight crew-mates, and an android who can grow a beard are your superiors and colleagues. In your spare time you can relax on the holodeck or in Ten Forward. As long as you can deal with the kids on board (that includes you, Wesley), you’re set for a great career.