Stuff I Dislike: Queens Local Trains

Looking across the tracks at Woodhaven Bouleva...

The only time I like to see the Woodhaven Boulevard Station: going straight through it. (Image via Wikipedia.)

It’s kind of a blessing that the train line I generally take to get from my folks’ house in Queens to my current abode in Manhattan is the E train. (Well, the E to the 6, but who’s counting?). The E train is quick and skips over those pesky stops like 65th Street and Woodhaven Boulevard (which is especially funny because Kelly has to take the train to Woodhaven Boulevard).

(Also, it should be noted that my other train is the F train, which does basically the same thing but has completely different termini.)

Except when it doesn’t. Like on late nights and weekends, when the M (and before that, the V) isn’t running (in northern Queens, anyway) and the E replaces both the M and the R in making all local stops. It’s just really grueling having to deal with 12 additional stops and the time it takes for people to get on, people to get off, &c. In that case, taking the subway there and back (which at this point is a bit less common for me) really, really sucks. I mean, at that rate, I’d just take the rail-road, which would cost, at most, $5.25 (and at the least, $3.75 on weekends). But when that’s impossible, boy, does that suck. I mean, other local trains are a bit annoying – the local 7, if you’re going to a place that’s on an express stop (man, that trip’s going to be even longer and more crowded if they extend it to Secaucus), for example, or the G train (G for “geological ages”, which is how long it takes for it to get there) – but generally there’s something good to come from it (from the local 7, awesome views; from the G, donuts from Peter Pan). There’s nothing good about stopping at Grand Avenue, not even Queens Center. (Don’t get me started on Queens Center.)

But what’s even worse is when you get on the train, on a weekday, during regular hours, and you think it’s an express train going through Queens – and you generally know you’re on an express train going through Queens, they’ve got those cool new cars with the spackled floors and screen flashing ads and crap and the map of the line, which shows it running express (which, by the way, is one of the reasons I’d rather take the 2 train in Brooklyn than the 3 when I have to get to the central library – the cool map and stuff) – but then, when you get into Queens Plaza or Roosevelt Avenue or whatever, the conductor comes on and says, “Attention passengers, this E (or F, or whatever) train will be running express between Queens Plaza and Roosevelt Avenue (or Roosevelt Avenue and 71st Street-Forest Hills, or both, or whatever).” And then you’re thinking, “Crap! I get on what I thought was an express train, and it’s a local train. Now I’ve got to deal with the folks from Steinway Street (or 65th Drive, or whatever).”It just brings what’s generally a nice day right down.


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