Making Crap Up: “5 ultra-secret government projects involving ‘Back to the Future'”

Great Scott!

(Ed. Note: This is the fourth post in a continuing series, powered by the Linkbait Generator, I put a real person, thing, or group of persons or things into the Generator, see what ridiculous title comes out, and write a story with as few shreds of truth about it. As always, a disclaimer that very, very little (if any) of this story is true.)

Twenty-five years and almost two months ago, the first Back to the Future film was released. While it wasn’t the first film to use time travel as a major part of the plot, it – and its two sequels – became a film for the ages, and one of the greatest film series of all time. With a budget of only $19 million, it made more than $380 million at the box office.

So it’s no wonder that the film would have led to government products, such as:

  • The thick metallic sunglasses that Doc Brown wears led to a similar creation, but as a thinner version of welder’s goggles.
  • Dr. Fusion, an addition to the DeLorean at the end of the first movie, was part of a government plan for a fusion plant that could create its own energy – which was scrapped when Dick Cheney became Vice President and gave the oil and coal companies control of the Energy Department.
  • Inspired by World Series results in 2015 in Back to the Future Part II, a government project was formed to get the Cubs to finally win the World Series; it had been a massive failure which after much consternation was killed off by Illinoisan (and White Sox fan) Barack Obama in March of 2010, meaning the Cubs will have to suck on their own.
  • Of course, time travel has always been a project of DARPA’s. They just haven’t gotten that flux capacitor right, or the ability to attain 1.21 gigawatts.
  • And the hoverboard. Seriously. You just know that stuff’s real.

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