Making Crap Up:“6 Bits of Francisco Rodriguez Advice that Will Land You in Prison”

(Ed. Note: This is a weekly story in which I put a real person, thing, or group of persons or things into the Linkbait Generator, see what ridiculous title comes out, and write a story with as few shreds of truth about it. A disclaimer that very, very little (if any) of this story is true.)

Francisco Rodriguez has a penchant for walking on the wild side. Virtually every time “K-Rod” enters the game, he tiptoes on a dental-floss-thin high-wire. But prison?

Apparently so, yes, prison. Here’s 6 things K-Rod does in his life that may end you up in the big house:

  1. If you’re a practicing member of the Church of Santeria, always cut off your chicken’s heads while living in Hialeah, Florida.
  2. Wear a hard hat in a non-hard-hat zone, such as the middle of an almost-completed ballpark.
  3. When in a war of words with an opposing pitcher, rough him up a little during batting practice.
  4. After said war of words with opposing pitcher (now in your team’s organization), try to patch it up by going to his current city of residence to “hug it out.” (Restraining order much?)
  5. Wear tinted goggles while driving at night.
  6. And finally, steal the identity of a former player on your team by being his doppelgänger.

Next week, the theme is “bananas,” and the story is, “8 myths About Bananas that Hollywood Wants You to Believe”. May be some truth in that one.

Later tonight, the Top 5, where I won’t be making crap up about the Top 5 favorite phobias in my opinion.


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