(Note: As I write this, there is a Bump-It ad on television. Ironic, isn’t it?)
As a Sicilian-American, I have no problems with MTV’s hit reality show Jersey Shore. I don’t have a problem with the fact that people have stopped associating Italian-American culture with (at the least) pizza, Frank Sinatra and The Godfather films and instead with spray tans, bump-its and “The Situation.” I don’t have a problem with the fact that MTV production crews plaster the walls of the cast’s beach house with maps of Italy and whatnot in some effort to feign proficiency with Italian geography (ask them to point to Palermo on a map. Seriously, ask them and they wouldn’t know). Hell, I’ve got relatives (distant relatives, mind you) who are much like the cast of the show.
As a member of the species Homo sapiens sapiens, I am highly offended by Jersey Shore. After watching exactly five minutes of the show two weeks ago, a lengthy string of swearing by one of the characters in the back of a minivan (I think they were trying to stop Ronnie from punching someone on a pier, or something), I developed a headache. The show is one long string of drinking, partying, hot tubs, and tanning – especially tanning (it’s amazing how the television networks decry the use of smoking in their shows, but allow for glorification and proliferation of tanning, which probably has the same – if not a greater – chance of causing cancer). The fact that all but two of the cast, according to Wikipedia, are from the general New York area is incredibly disconcerting, as it’s possible I may have to deal with them and (God forbid) their offspring in the future, eventually having to declare asylum somewhere in Europe.
But the most annoying part of the show is how the cast – and MTV – glorify their lifestyle of vanity and debauchery. How Jenny “JWoww” had breast implants at age 21. How many of the cast members had a tanning bed in their own home, and how “Snooki” was beginning a plan to get a tanning bed in everyone’s home. People simply don’t act like this! Or, rather, some do, and we should teach further generations not to act like this. Some of my friends enjoy it, if anything, to laugh at their stupidity – but I only feel anger and disdain at it.
A rundown on other things (somewhat) related to Jersey Shore I dislike:
- The only analogy that can be made to the MTV show My Super Sweet 16 is to a train wreck – you hate watching it, but you can’t look away. My experience with this first came during the 2006 baseball playoffs, of all things. I spent the time before Game 2 of the National League Championship series between the Mets and St. Louis Cardinals (the eventual World Series Champions) outside of Shea Stadium for SportsNet New York’s pre-game coverage of the game. Before the pre-game coverage, they were showing My Super Sweet 16, of all things. Even though my brain felt like it was melting while watching it, I was sort of hypnotized by it. Mind you, the show really is a montage of three elements – obnoxious kids (generally females) crying and screaming at their parents, shirtless young men carrying birthday girls, and the parents (oblivious to the crapstorm they had just been the victim of) giving their brats a car. But for some reason or another, the base entertainment was…I wouldn’t say entertaining, but it’s…something.
- I can’t stand the foghorn-like sound in Drake’s (featuring virtually everyone else in the world of rap), as evidenced here:
It simply annoys the hell out of me. This is supposed to be hip-hop, not a fisherman’s wharf!
Join me for our next installment of Tuesday Afternoon Stuff I Dislike, where I discuss Philadelphia Phillies fans (excuse me, ‘phans.’)